Celebrity Face Twins

Happy Saturday!  I hope everyone has a safe and fun holiday weekend.

As for me, I'll be taking some time off from blogging this weekend, while I sit in my apartment and quietly cry over this...

...the results of my "Who's Your Celebrity Face Twin?" survey.

Want to be saddened for yourself?  Try it here.  I dare you.

Breaking News

Today was a monumental day.

Today, reality looked me square in the face, and then punched.

Today, Facebook alerted me that my blog is considered spam.

I guess we all saw this coming.

Photo Hunt Thursday

Happy Thursday!  In honor of this, the fifth day of the second week of the 2012th year, I present a photo hunt from the news.  I know, I know.  I don't usually get so serious, but let's give this a shot...

Photo Hunt*

* Answer Key: I'm still scratching my head over how a news article about ethnic tensions in Washington, DC ends up with a photo of Banana Republic.


photo courtesy of www.washingtonpost.com/local

How to Get a Husband

I had a real breakthrough last night.  While watching the critically-acclaimed television documentary "The Bachelor" for the first time, I had an "Aha!" moment.  Specifically, this program has developed some real 'best practices' for the art, nay science, of getting a husband, which I fully intend to use in my own life...

How to Get a Husband

Step 1: Threaten Violence Against Other Ladies

Step 2: Use a Fictitious Job Title

Step 3: Wear Some Sort of Low-Cut Onesie

Step 4: Employ the Liberal Use of F-Bombs













Step 5: Drink Heavily (but Remember to Eat Nothing)

Step 6: Cry in an Interview Room

Step 7: Cry in a Luggage Room

Step 8:  Pass Out












*all photos courtesy of www.abc.com

Words with Inanimate Objects

Today, I learned a lot of valuable lessons.  Like, there are places in this world where Burger King signs have religious overtones.  And, when in rural Florida, one must accept the fact that there is no such thing as a non-country-radio-station.

Perhaps most importantly, though, I learned that, given 17 hours of solitary car time, there's really no telling what I'll do...

Words with Inanimate Objects

GPS: continue on interstate 95 for 590 miles

me: ohmygod, 590 miles on the same road?!

GPS: [silence]

me: well, I guess I'll just try to limit my stops to get there faster.

GPS: [silence]

me: Ooo, there's a Dairy Queen Brazier at the next exit!!

GPS: [judgmental silence]

2012 Calendar of Existential Crises

Happy Day-After-New-Years-But-Still-A-Federal-Holiday!!  I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday season, and is eagerly anticipating the year ahead.

In the event that you either 1) still need a desktop calendar for 2012; or 2) would like a preview of what the coming year has in store for yours truly, here's a piece I wrote a little while ago...

2012 Calendar of Existential Crises

I started this blog about five months ago on a whim.  I'm having a blast, and I hope you're enjoying the ride.  Here's to 12 more months of profound hilarious neurotic revelry.

Photo Essay: Things You'll Find at a Florida Flea Market

Our world is full of beautiful imagery, and this week reminded me that inspiration can truly be found in the most unlikely of places.  In that spirit, I present my very first photo essay, taken while visiting my parents in Florida.  I hope you enjoy these spectacular images, which I think you'll agree are near National Geographic caliber...

Photo Essay: Things You'll Find at a Florida Flea Market

1. Beautiful Home Decor

2. Elegant Patio Accessories

3. Dental Equipment

4. Sophisticated Ladies' Apparel

5. Handsome Gentlemen's Apparel

6. Specially-Designed Restrooms for 'Large Ladies'

7. My Dad, who can next be seen on the new A&E series, Flea Market Hoarders