Tuesday, January 10, 2012

How to Get a Husband

I had a real breakthrough last night.  While watching the critically-acclaimed television documentary "The Bachelor" for the first time, I had an "Aha!" moment.  Specifically, this program has developed some real 'best practices' for the art, nay science, of getting a husband, which I fully intend to use in my own life...

How to Get a Husband

Step 1: Threaten Violence Against Other Ladies

Step 2: Use a Fictitious Job Title

Step 3: Wear Some Sort of Low-Cut Onesie

Step 4: Employ the Liberal Use of F-Bombs

Step 5: Drink Heavily (but Remember to Eat Nothing)

Step 6: Cry in an Interview Room

Step 7: Cry in a Luggage Room

Step 8:  Pass Out

*all photos courtesy of www.abc.com

1 comment:

  1. Ummm how do you think I got Dan? See steps 1-8; repeat.