Wednesday, February 22, 2012

The Lizzie McGuire Diet

Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

Today, I'm giving up pop.  Or soda, depending on your regional loyalties.  Well wishes are appreciated, but jokes about my Diet Coke addiction are appreciated even more.

Some of you are probably asking yourselves why you should care I've chosen to take this drastic step.  To answer that question, I'll cite one of my first pop-related revelations.  It was a Hilary Duff interview, which aired in 2005 on that beacon of hard-hitting television journalism, The View.

Fast forward to about 5:00...

WHAT?!  What do you mean diet soda makes you heavier??  It has no sugar and zero calories -- how is that even possible??

I immediately discredited her -- mostly because, up until this point, her most notable role was as tweenager Lizzie McGuire in the Disney Channel sitcom, masterfully titled "Lizzie McGuire."  Besides that one episode where Lizzie goes on a camping trip with her biology class, how much could she possibly know about science?

Yet, I couldn't get this out of my mind.  Even today, 7 years later, this interview still haunts me.  So, I've decided to test this hypothesis for myself.  I'm giving up pop.  I'm letting Lizzie McGuire take the wheel.

Incidentally, if this doesn't work out, I'm writing a strongly worded letter to the Disney Channel.

1 comment:

  1. I feel your pain. I gave up diet soda two weeks ago. and it has not been pretty. Luckily, i haven't murdered anyone yet. Apparently it confuses your body so that you can't regulate sugar when you do get it. or something else quasi-scientific and disappointing (jen dorsey)