Homeopathic Remedies for Your Most Common Ailments
Ailment: Joint pain, especially in the hands
Remedy: Well, first off, definitely keep typing. Particularly if it's useless, work-related typing that will never be seen by anyone ever. When you're done with that, cry a little bit, and then vow to buy an ergonomic-keyboard-hand-rest, until you find out those things are like $40, then curse the day you started working in an office without proper office supplies, then cry a little bit more. If that doesn't work, try yoga! What's particularly helpful is hearing your instructor disdainfully say "for those of you who sit at a desk all day, your muscles are probably so tight that this position will be nearly impossible."
Ailment: General malaise
Remedy: Our bodies and our minds are so intrinsically linked that even the slightest change to our eating or exercise habits can have major impacts on our emotional state. Since, out of the complete blue, you jogged on the treadmill for 12 minutes yesterday, it's probably wise to stop doing that. There's no reason to shock your body into such intense physical activity so suddenly. Rather, try easing into a new routine. Next week, instead of actually jogging, just bring your gym bag to work, tell yourself you're going to work out, and then go home and change into your comfy pants. It's all about the baby steps.
Ailment: Mild dizziness
Remedy: Dizziness is certainly nothing to mess around with, and can be a symptom of something very serious. But, before seeking professional advice, try to make small changes to your daily habits - again, you don't want to shock your body into something drastically different. Start by weening yourself off your usual 6-7 Diet Cokes per day, and slowly substituting it with healthier alternatives. For example, Diet Mountain Dew packs 1.5 times the amount of caffeine as colas, without any added sugar or calories. You really want to stay away from too much sugar, so replacing it with synthetic, chemical substances like aspartame is your best bet.
Ailment: Headaches before bed
Remedy: The first question you should ask yourself is whether these headaches generally occur at the same time. For instance, if you always seem to get headaches on Tuesday nights, consider whether there's anything in your Tuesday routine that could be causing the problem. Think outside-the-box, because, remember - the body is a complex machine! Rather than assume today's headache is the result of coming home, eating everything in your fridge, watching the new "19 Kids and Counting," then pretending to read literature while you're really just passively watching last week's "19 Kids and Counting" rerun; think creatively! Maybe your Tuesday headaches are brought on by the amount of stress you're under. So, start by taking two Advil PMs and gently rubbing your temples, while mumbling something about having a 'really, really hard day.'