Doctor Google

You Searched:

"blood shot left eye + small red mark on shoulder"

Internet Diagnosis:

Wow, it's lucky you caught this in time, and linked together these seemingly unrelated symptoms.  Have you ever Google Image-searched "purpura"?  Because seeing pictures of severe cases will convince you that you have it.  And then you should cry.

You Searched:

"my legs itch after showers"

Internet Diagnosis:

"Aquagenic Pruritis": a severe skin disease that will require expensive creams and several trips to the dermatologist.  You should probably also read blogs about other people who think they have this disorder, to both alleviate and heighten your concern.

You Searched:
"really tired?"

Internet Diagnosis:

Well, it's definitely cancer.  Or organ failure.  But something really serious.  Have you had a CT scan?  Oh, your insurance doesn't cover CT scans?  Well you need one anyway.  You should make an appointment with a specialist right now.  In fact, while you're Yelp-ing "Best cheapest cancer doctor DC?", you should probably also Google Map directions to the Mayo Clinic just to be prepared.