Have you ever had one of these things??
No? Well good, I'm glad I caught you in time...
How to Get a Shellac Manicure
1. Never, ever get a shellac manicure
2. Ok, fine, buy that Groupon for a shellac manicure because it's, like, 200% off
3. Marvel at how fancy this all seems! The special brushes! The UV drying lamp! Getting to pick your polish from a chart! A chart! And to think, not too long ago you were just a small-town kid from Iowa who dreamed of someday getting such an elaborate manicure in the big city!
4. Use phrases like "new technology," and "totally superior" to describe your new look to friends. When they claim to have gotten a similar "gel" manicures a couple years ago, scoff. This is shellac.
5. Enjoy all of the many benefits of a shellac manicure for 2-3 weeks. Like: it's so shiny! And, it won't chip off the tips like most polishes. No matter how many times you have to dig around in your suitcase-sized purse for those stupid keys.
6. Call those same friends three weeks later, crying. You just want it off.
7. "Oh, you have to get it professionally removed?"
8. Delicately brush your nails with nail polish remover for 10 minutes. Or 30? Fine, 50.
10. Pour an entire bottle of that blue, acetone poison into a sturdy, plastic container. Oh, here, just use this "Blue Bunny Personals" ice cream container you never threw away.
11. Immerse your fingers into the liquid.
12. When the polish starts to bubble, carefully scrape away the chips with an orange stick
13. Is that nail you're peeling??
14. ARE YOU KIDDING ME.
15. Make an appointment to get this damn stuff professionally removed.