Mom's Suitcase Rejects

I'm back from North Carolina! (Did you miss me?)  I had a really great weekend, full of reunions with long-lost family members and ill-advised interstate meals -- everything that a good road trip should be.  Oh, and I got to hang out with my parents before they headed back home.

Which brings me to my favorite part of the weekend.

You know, that part where your mom needs to keep her suitcase under 50 pounds, but buys lots of stuff and ends up leaving you with travel-sized bottles of products you don't even use regular-sized bottles of?...

Mom's Suitcase Rejects

- A full package of the new (terrible) Oreo flavor, "Rainbow Sherbet," because she 'just wanted to try one!'

- The diffuser attachment to her new hair dryer, but not the actual hair dryer itself

- A gallon-sized Ziploc with half-eaten bags of airplane pretzels

- Speaking of airplanes -- a thin, red fleece blanket I can only assume was 'borrowed' from the Delta Corporation

- Two hotel-ice-bucket-bags full of travel-sized toiletries, including several un-labeled concoctions with the consistency of sunscreen

- Five bananas in varying stages of decay

image source

View from the Driver's Seat

I'm in North Carolina for a few days, spending time with my family, and learning new pronunciations for words.

While driving down here yesterday, I saw a lot of things that I wanted to capture on film to show you, my literally tens of followers.  The only problem was that, from the driver's seat, it's damn near impossible to take pictures of anything.  So, I've decided to describe them to you instead -- it will be just like radio!

From my last road trip down I-95 -- a religious Burger King sign

View from the Driver's Seat


-- A license plate that read "I Am Shy"

-- A town called "Zebulon"

-- A directional road sign that was probably supposed to read "To Future I-295," but due to some poor line spacing choices, read "To Future" instead.

-- A sign, just down the road from the exit "To Future," that read "End Highway Safety Zone"

-- A car-full of teenagers doing the "Rollin' with the Homies" arm wave out every window

-- A small trailer on the side of the road, roughly the color of Pepto Bismal, with signs that read "Colon Center"

-- A beauty shop called "Curl Up and Dye"

Things I Learned in Colonial Williamsburg

I visited Colonial Williamsburg over the weekend.  In addition to answering the follow-up question of "Oh God, why?" from everyone I've told, I have spent the majority of today reflecting on the valuable lessons I learned during my trip...

Things I Learned in Colonial Williamsburg

They retired Felicity!

Apparently, taking pictures of other people's children in period costumes is considered "inappropriate"

If I'm ever on the show "Hoarders," it will be, in large part, due to my collection of souvenir koozies

A silent 'e' can (nay, should!) be added to the end of every word

Relatedly, everything tastes better when it comes from an Olde Tyme Shoppe

My new least favorite accent is "Southerner impersonating Colonial-era Irish immigrant"

Colonial Williamsburg is: having a little boy in a tiny tricorne hat point a wooden toy gun at you from his stroller

Photo Essay: Things You'll Find at a Florida Flea Market

Our world is full of beautiful imagery, and this week reminded me that inspiration can truly be found in the most unlikely of places.  In that spirit, I present my very first photo essay, taken while visiting my parents in Florida.  I hope you enjoy these spectacular images, which I think you'll agree are near National Geographic caliber...

Photo Essay: Things You'll Find at a Florida Flea Market

1. Beautiful Home Decor

2. Elegant Patio Accessories

3. Dental Equipment

4. Sophisticated Ladies' Apparel

5. Handsome Gentlemen's Apparel

6. Specially-Designed Restrooms for 'Large Ladies'

7. My Dad, who can next be seen on the new A&E series, Flea Market Hoarders

Things I Learned in Brooklyn

I was in New York this weekend to visit a friend who's probably too cool for me, but keeps being my friend anyway.  He's leaving Brooklyn soon to take up residence on that other coast, and I will miss him dearly.

BUT! Brooklyn was amazing.  We did all those lovely autumnal New York activities that kind of make you wish you could forever live in autumnal New York (but not that Winona Ryder version).  They included, in no particular order: brunches, flea markets, promenades, urban hiking, olde fashioned candy, and several life lessons...

Things I Learned in Brooklyn

1.  How unfashionable I am

2.  There is a market for tiny, tiny metal stools

3.  By living in an urban brownstone, you are legally required to display an artistic-but-elegant floor lamp in your front window

4.  How to say "perilous to human life" in Spanish

5.  LED light shows that require epilepsy warnings can coexist, side-by-side, with children's carnival carousels

6.  There are places in this world where taxis take credit cards

7.  Chukka boots come in baby sizes

8.  Choosing a Saturday afternoon wedding in a public park = Choosing to let strangers take pictures of you with their iPhones and openly judge your choice of bridesmaid dresses